Let me be real honest with you.
No part of me wanted to lead worship this past Sunday.
Not one ounce.
My grandmother passed away suddenly Saturday morning, and I was there.
Kate was there…
This picture was taken the day after Kate was born. Just look at Grandma’s face. Pure JOY! Kate made grandma soooo happy. And she was able to see her Saturday morning. Definitely a God thing.
So, when I got to the hospital and heard for sure, I’m not gonna lie, I had already made up my mind that I wasn’t going to lead worship the next day. I had actually already thought about it before that day because my sister was getting married that evening. Now, with this happening…It would just be too much.
But, in the midst of that morning…something amazing happened. It rocked me to my core.
A pastor came to the hospital to pray with our family.
He shared some scripture:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”
Then he prayed: ”Lord I ask that you be with this family during this troubling time…”
For some reason, during that prayer, I looked up.
I looked to see what the rest of my family was doing. Were they crying? Were they mad? Were they hugging each other? What were we gonna do?
The first place I looked was at my grandpa. Who had just lost the love of his life for 60 years. 60 YEARS! And you know what he was doing??
He was raising his hands.
Right there, in that chapel.
In the hospital, moments after his wife passed away.
HE WAS WORSHIPPING!
Are you kidding me? In that moment, I knew that if he could worship, there was no way that I wasn’t going to be doing what God called me to do this the next day. No. Possible. Way. If I was breathing, I was going to church.
Want to know something else? At the very end of practice Thursday we decided to add a different song to our list. it’s called “Beautiful”. The song couldn’t have fit better for Sunday.
“When we arrive at eternity’s shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more, we’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring, your bride will come together and we’ll sing, You’re beautiful…”
So I got up Sunday morning, went to church, and I attempted to lead worship.
It was the hardest thing I think I’ve ever done…